apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
