Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Someone came in the potted fern
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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