Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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