About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
