party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
