OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
