her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Someone shattered a urinal.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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