Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
