So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Randomize
