So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just blew my weed a kiss
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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