you guys were way drunker than both of me
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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