i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
nutella sex= disaster
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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