I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
it glows. i had to have it.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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