bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
