Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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