dude i'm inner monologue high
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
