you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
