I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize