Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
