I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
