I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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