He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
