Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
This baby is an asshole
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
