Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
