I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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