and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
