worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
