How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it hurts more in the daytime
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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