Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
worst night to have a conscience
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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