Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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