whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Threesome in a minivan. New low
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
