what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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