I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
