Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
where are my eyebrows?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
