I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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