He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize