you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Randomize
