you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
