Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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