Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
