? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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