Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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