i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
