omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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