Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
