I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
