do herpes really smell.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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