ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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