I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
