It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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