We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize