just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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