WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
