Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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