Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize