Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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