Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We are all done wearing pants today
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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