i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
