Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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