i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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