how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
