she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
