I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
