Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
