he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
