You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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