I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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