Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
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