I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
